Monday, May 9, 2011

Down the rabbit hole



Cardigan: Target
Skirt: Gap
Wedges: Target
Toes: China Glaze First Class Ticket



You guys wanna hear a funny and embarrassing story? It involves manholes.

I knew you did.



When I was a sophomore in college, I had to park about half a mile away from my dorm, near the athletic fields, and walk back. I drove out to the parking area one Sunday night after having parked behind my dorm all weekend (totally allowed, I swear!) and decided to cut through some trees on my way across the athletic area.

The school was completing construction on a new indoor tennis center at the time, and I had to pick my way though a menagerie of plywood, cones and dirt. In mostly darkness. At one point I came across a manhole cover, and not thinking twice, I stepped on it.



Well, it totally looked like the manhole cover was on top of the manhole. totally did! But it wasn't, it was a couple inches to the side of it. This of course created some false safety for me, which was immediately shattered as the manhole cover gave way under my weight and I went DOWN.

Here's the one time in life where my birthing hips come in handy--the manhole cover, instead of flying away, flipped upward, pinning me at the hips against the opening of the hole. SAFEISH! I started flailing desperately to get out, trying to find a wall to push my feet against and losing a flip flop in the process. (Why was I wearing flip flops? Oh college.) I'd like to note that I did not hear my flip flop land so who knows how deep that manhole really was! I finally was able to pull the manhole cover up enough to haul myself out--manhole covers are HEAVY, y'all!--and then I sat next to the manhole and cried. Then I walked back to my dorm crying, where my roommate listened to my story while trying not to laugh. If I recall correctly she failed but I still love her.



Beyond losing a flip flop, the front of my calf sideswiped the manhole cover on the way down, and I was all scraped up. I now also have a phobia of manhole covers and sewer grates, and refuse to walk on them. For a while afterward I would actually push people out of the way of manholes because it made me so anxious. And have you ever been to downtown Atlanta? It's my worst nightmare come true. Grates EVERYWHERE.

So next time we hang out and you guys wonder why I'm walking down the street so funny, it's because I'm worried my skirt's too short and there are manholes every 20 steps.

I really think we're closer because of this. I'm glad you asked about it.

4 comments:

  1. i love that story. plus, that is where alligators live:)

    i am sure it should also remind me of my own story, like the time i sat on my friends re-upholstered chair, somewhat antiquish, and it gave way. my expletive was "man, why does the fat girl always have to break the chair?" but of course, it doesn't remind me of such stories at all.....:)

    aleisha
    cutefatandshort.blogspot.com

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  2. That story would be a great beginning to a modern Alice in Wonderland story / movie. Where all the creatures and Wonderland is kind of post-industrial-ish and dark.

    Great cardigan too. I like the dot on dot combo. Very daring.

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  3. My mom passed on a fear of grates to me as well. Glad to see it's a little more common that I thought. New York City was a total nightmare for me, as far as walking places is concerned. Have I told you lately that I love this skirt? well, I love it.

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  4. Aleisha: oh my gosh that stinks! Now I'm wondering if I weighed less if the manhole cover would have given. Well, probably. Though maybe if I were skinny I could have leapt over it? Doubtful!

    Elle: That's what I thought while I was writing the post. How great would it have been if I had fallen into the manhole and found a magical world inside? More likely I would have found a) my flip flop and b) sewage but it could have been awesome. And thank you, I really like how dot on dot turned out!

    Meghan: oh NO! I'm going to New York in couple of weeks and I didn't know that there's a problem with that! I'll have to walk on the curb. I'm glad you told me though so now I can prepare for it. I love this skirt too, I'm really glad I bought it (it was kind of on a whim)!

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